Countdown

Serendipity

Sam's parents and sister have been in town for a couple of days, and last night we went to Temple Square to see the Christmas lights. While we were listening to the narration of and looking at the main nativity ...  

someone from behind called my name ...

Katrina's brother Chris and his beautiful (and preggers!) wife!! 

Serendipity at its finest!

Among the zillions of people there, Chris noticed Cohen's darling wolf hat (given to him by Katrina) and then the cute little face peaking out. We are actually planning to go the Temple Square with Katrina's family in a few days (Chris hadn't heard yet) , but I'm so glad we bumped into them.

Luckily Sam's sister, Emily, had her camera handy. Sam's parents and Emily went with us last year to see the lights, so I didn't bring my camera this time. Besides, she recently took some amazing photos of Paris at night, so I know she'd take better pictures than me anyway. I was right.

Cohen talks a LOT about wanting to go inside the temple. I'm so excited to take him there again. The first time was sincerely beyond words--an experience I gladly share in person when prompted, but am hesitant to share through this medium. I'll just say that even though he was only six months old, he understood what was going on--probably better than anyone else in the room. The privilege of taking your child to the temple is truly a tender mercy from our Father in Heaven to us couples who cannot create children together. 

Anyway, Cohen knows that he will get to go inside the temple again when he gets a sister or brother. So he (and we) pray for that every day. 

November Roundup

our back yard cherry tree

Wow! This month has flown by. I just realized I have only published one post this month and December begins in a couple of hours. Here's a quick rundown of what we've been up to this month: 

Sam went to work peeling and sanding the logs he harvested for his parents banister. 

Cohen started using the toilet - very infrequently, but it's still a major celebration at your house!

Sam taught Cohen the art of tortilla making and Cohen became a master of glue while making our first displayed Christmas decoration (it's on the fridge behind him)

For the 3rd year in a row, we participated in the annual Adoption Walk With Me 5K to raise awareness of the positive outcomes of adoption in our community. BTW, Katrina is doing great on her mission. She's in a new area that she loves. We miss her TONS and can't wait to spend some time with her family who will be in town next month. 

Sam tried to use the shop-vac as a leaf blower. It didn't work very well, but Cohen had a blast playing with it. 

We discovered the joy of indoor camping. Cohen calls marshmallows "farfallows".

The newest member of our extended family was born last month. He was born 8 minutes after Megan's sister arrived at the hospital! Cohen calls him Baby Will and we can't get enough of him. 

Grandma (Megan's mom), Cohen and William on Thanksgiving.

We decorated for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. Cohen's tree ended up looking very similar to the way he decorated it last year. At least this year he hasn't tried eating any of the ornaments.

One night when Cohen was supposed to be in bed he got into the gift wrapping box and had a lot of fun with the ribbon.

And last of all, some stuff I've been thinking about A LOT lately, but I'm not quite sure what to say about it ...

We've only been approved to adopt again for a few months. Why does it feel like SO MUCH longer?! I obviously have yet to master the art of patience!

This month we've had contact with a couple of different women trying to find families for their children. This time is such a roller coster of emotions. Trying to be realistic while staying hopeful, faithful and grateful can be a struggle at times. Discouragement and doubt keep trying to rear their ugly heads. And trying to make sure we're doing all we can to help our next child find his/her way to our family vs. having faith that the Lord will bring us together can be a tough balancing act. 

However, as frustrated and powerless as I sometimes feel, I always think of those planning to  place their child for adoption and the task they have of trying to find the right family. Now THEY have the hard part in all of this. I cannot imagine the pressure that must accompany making such an important decision. I'm glad we can be a part of a few of their journeys. I truly feel blessed for the opportunity to do whatever we can to help them with their decision. We clearly experienced through Cohen's adoption that Heavenly Father has a way of working things out. I just have to be patient. 

40 Days

The countdown is on!  Sam started this about 2 weeks ago.

We went fishing at 5 a.m. last Saturday with Megan's dad.  We didn't catch anything, but it was beautiful!

After fishing we went to Megan's nieces' last soccer game.  Ellie is on the left, Kate is on the left.  They were both pretty proud of their trophies.  (btw, Ellie & Kate belong to Emily &  Scott)

This is their youngest, Morgan.  She LOVES her uncle Sam!

Morgan kickin' back enjoying some Oreos

Megan and Ellie share something in common--they both LOVE animals.  This is Ellie's latest pet--a horny toad named Parker.

The baby's room is coming along!  I'm sure the he won't care what it looks like, but I'm having fun.  I have a few more plans before it's finished.

Annual Home Study/Visit

Yesterday we had a home visit with our new adoption worker.  I was a little anxious because we aren’t 100% done with remodeling.  I was worried we might get in trouble for not having any interior door knobs installed yet.  And what if she looked under our bed where I hide things I don’t know what do with—like a Christmas decoration I’m still making?  Would we get in trouble for not having enough water in our food storage?  Of course I was over thinking things, but that’s what I do.  We spent Monday night completing a list of things I’m pretty sure are important: 

• Install missing heating vents;  check. 
• Buy new fire and carbon monoxide detectors (Sam went out to find some at 2:00 in the A.M.); check. 
• Maker sure neighbor’s cat’s poop isn’t all over the yard; check.

The visit went really well.  There are just a few things we have to take care of like put child locks on the cabinets that hold cleaning supplies.  Best of all, I really like our new adoption worker.  Although I don’t know her very well yet, I really like her a lot.  She’s totally on the ball and seems to realize how important this is to us.  She’s genuine and I feel like she can empathize with the ups and downs that come with this whole thing.  And she didn’t look under our bed. 

      

Thank Goodness for Visiting Teachers!

visting teachers - noun. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints, Relief Society sisters (adult women) assigned in pairs to a list of sisters in the ward. Each set of Visiting Teachers are required to share a monthly spiritual message and generally assist, help strengthen and be-friend their assigned sisters. All Relief Society sisters should have someone assigned to visit teach them monthly.

Saturday I received a call from my stalwart visiting teacher, Sister N.

“Hi Megan, I just heard some news that I want to tell you so that you can deal with it in your own way.”

I million thoughts quickly went through my mind, none of which were remotely close to what she said next.

“Sister L was just placed with a baby boy and I just wanted you to find out about it when you could deal with the news however you need to.”

My first thought was relief, because of all the things I might need to “deal” with, this wasn’t too bad. I then felt sincere happiness for Sister L (really, I did). Sister L adopted a little girl from China about 2 years ago, right around the same time my sister and her family adopted their little girl from China. Sister L and I have talked about adoption, and I knew she would try to adopt again at some point. So I wasn’t totally surprised by the news. But I admit there was a small part of me that was bummed it wasn’t Sam and me getting a baby. I thanked Sister N for giving me the news, hung up, and told Sam. (By the way, he was more upset than me.)

Here’s where I thank Heavenly Father for the divinely inspired visiting teaching program, and the divinely inspired woman who first assigned Sister N to be my visiting teacher. Sister and Brother N adopted both of their children. Sister N knows exactly what it’s like to be in my shoes—aching for a child and feeling so helpless, trying to be positive, patient and optimistic while watching everyone else have babies—lots of them—while my arms remain empty year after year. Yes, Sister N knows what it’s like to be me. And it seems she knows what it’s like to be me even more than I.

You see, when I went to Relief Society yesterday, the R.S. president announced Sister L’s good news. I was totally surprised by the effect this had had me. It felt like a slap across the face. Along with that, (I might have been imagining) I swear I could feel everyone look at me out of the corner of their eye. How would I have reacted had I not already had 24-hours to process the news? At best, I would have held it together until class ended and I would have barely made it to the car before losing it. At worst, well, I would have had to make a b-line to the bathroom. But after the initial shock of the slap, I again felt sincerely happy for sister L. I really did. And I didn’t have to hold back any tears.

Yes, thank goodness for visiting teachers!

Year of the Baby

Yes, my title may be a little bold, but I really do think that this is the year Sam and I will finally become parents. Every year for the last several years I've hoped that it was the year, but this time I really think it is. And if it isn't, well, I'll be okay--it just means we're one year closer to whenever it happens. But in the meantime, the realist in me is giving in to the optimist in me.

We had a great New Year holiday. We spent time with family and friends, played games and watched football (go Utes!), watched good movies and ate yummy food. It doesn't get better than that!

On New Year's Eve we went out with some friends for Sushi, then to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and then back to our friends house to play video games.

Here's what we look like from the back--just in case you were wondering. We're boxing each other on our friend's Wii. Great therapy! It's pretty hillarious because I have no clue how to play this game well. Sam takes me out me every time. HOWEVER, I kick his you-know-what in Wii golf.

The next day we took my sister and her family to our favorite neighborhood diner where my nieces found this thing--I'm not quite sure what to call it--a vintage car trunk outifitted as a bench?? Whatever it is, they loved it. By the way, they are way excited for a new cousin. My sister tells me they even pray that we will find one soon!

Negative Pregnancy Tests

This may be TMI for some of you, so if the title makes you uncomfortable, you may want to skip this entry.

Yesterday I could feel a UTI coming on, so I called the doctor. My regular doctor was booked for the next 2 weeks, so I decided to go to an urgent care clinic instead. I did the usual pee-in-cup test and then waited around to get a prescription. When the doctor came in, she said that my suspicions about the infection were correct and that the pregnancy text came back negative. Pregnancy test? Didn’t remember asking for that.

I laughed and explained that I could have told her that.

“Have you been trying to conceive?” she asked.

"If you call three years of unprotected hanky-panky trying, I guess so,” I replied.

I explained a little about my situation; that we valiantly tried, found out it’s highly unlikely, and that we are now pursuing adoption.

She then went on for the next 15 minutes telling me that it could still happen someday. She told me stories of people she knows who tried for years and then one day “it” just happened. She threw in a few, “but families are made all different kinds of ways.” But she’d always go back to trying to give me hope that I could get pregnant.

I know she meant well. But after trying so hard to get pregnant, and then deciding adoption is the path to be on, the thought of trying to get pregnant makes me cringe. Yes, I do want to experience what it’s like to grow another human being inside of me. And I definitely want to be a mommy. But trying to conceive for so long definitely takes a toll—mentally, physically, emotionally. It’s like running a marathon and then finding out you took a wrong turn and now have to go run it all over again—but you have no idea where you made the wrong turn and the odds of finding the right course are slim-to-none.

Plus, I truly feel that adoption is the path Sam and I should be on right now. It's the path we want to be on right now. It is an answer to our prayers. Instead of hoping for a positive pregnancy test, we hope for a birth mother to find us. So when people make comments about me getting pregnant, it feels like it's undermining our adoption plans. And again, I know they mean well. But while pregnancy has it's own unique gifts, so does adoption.