Yesterday I had the very cool experience of going to the doc with Beautiful J. I know it might sound weird that I was excited about going to the doctor, but any of you adoptive parents out there know what I mean. It's not that I love going to the doctor, that's for sure! It's that I am so grateful that I get to share these kinds of experiences with my future child and his amazing birth mother. Even though I don't get to feel him moving around in my tummy, even though I don't get to nurture him until he's ready to make his big entrance into this world, I got to hear his heart beat. His perfect, strong heart beat. I got to be there to ask the doctor questions. I got to be there to support J whom I love and admire with all my heart. My favorite part of the whole thing was just hanging out with her. She is one incredible woman!
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Negative Pregnancy Tests
This may be TMI for some of you, so if the title makes you uncomfortable, you may want to skip this entry.
Yesterday I could feel a UTI coming on, so I called the doctor. My regular doctor was booked for the next 2 weeks, so I decided to go to an urgent care clinic instead. I did the usual pee-in-cup test and then waited around to get a prescription. When the doctor came in, she said that my suspicions about the infection were correct and that the pregnancy text came back negative. Pregnancy test? Didn’t remember asking for that.
I laughed and explained that I could have told her that.
“Have you been trying to conceive?” she asked.
"If you call three years of unprotected hanky-panky trying, I guess so,” I replied.
I explained a little about my situation; that we valiantly tried, found out it’s highly unlikely, and that we are now pursuing adoption.
She then went on for the next 15 minutes telling me that it could still happen someday. She told me stories of people she knows who tried for years and then one day “it” just happened. She threw in a few, “but families are made all different kinds of ways.” But she’d always go back to trying to give me hope that I could get pregnant.
I know she meant well. But after trying so hard to get pregnant, and then deciding adoption is the path to be on, the thought of trying to get pregnant makes me cringe. Yes, I do want to experience what it’s like to grow another human being inside of me. And I definitely want to be a mommy. But trying to conceive for so long definitely takes a toll—mentally, physically, emotionally. It’s like running a marathon and then finding out you took a wrong turn and now have to go run it all over again—but you have no idea where you made the wrong turn and the odds of finding the right course are slim-to-none.
Plus, I truly feel that adoption is the path Sam and I should be on right now. It's the path we want to be on right now. It is an answer to our prayers. Instead of hoping for a positive pregnancy test, we hope for a birth mother to find us. So when people make comments about me getting pregnant, it feels like it's undermining our adoption plans. And again, I know they mean well. But while pregnancy has it's own unique gifts, so does adoption.
Yesterday I could feel a UTI coming on, so I called the doctor. My regular doctor was booked for the next 2 weeks, so I decided to go to an urgent care clinic instead. I did the usual pee-in-cup test and then waited around to get a prescription. When the doctor came in, she said that my suspicions about the infection were correct and that the pregnancy text came back negative. Pregnancy test? Didn’t remember asking for that.
I laughed and explained that I could have told her that.
“Have you been trying to conceive?” she asked.
"If you call three years of unprotected hanky-panky trying, I guess so,” I replied.
I explained a little about my situation; that we valiantly tried, found out it’s highly unlikely, and that we are now pursuing adoption.
She then went on for the next 15 minutes telling me that it could still happen someday. She told me stories of people she knows who tried for years and then one day “it” just happened. She threw in a few, “but families are made all different kinds of ways.” But she’d always go back to trying to give me hope that I could get pregnant.
I know she meant well. But after trying so hard to get pregnant, and then deciding adoption is the path to be on, the thought of trying to get pregnant makes me cringe. Yes, I do want to experience what it’s like to grow another human being inside of me. And I definitely want to be a mommy. But trying to conceive for so long definitely takes a toll—mentally, physically, emotionally. It’s like running a marathon and then finding out you took a wrong turn and now have to go run it all over again—but you have no idea where you made the wrong turn and the odds of finding the right course are slim-to-none.
Plus, I truly feel that adoption is the path Sam and I should be on right now. It's the path we want to be on right now. It is an answer to our prayers. Instead of hoping for a positive pregnancy test, we hope for a birth mother to find us. So when people make comments about me getting pregnant, it feels like it's undermining our adoption plans. And again, I know they mean well. But while pregnancy has it's own unique gifts, so does adoption.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Good Gravy!
Sam and I made Swedish meatballs last night. My cute little Granny D is Swedish, which makes me one-quarter Swed, but this is the first time I've attempted the dish. Sam made the meatballs, but I cheated by using an IKEA mix for the sauce/gravy. While putting away leftovers, I dropped the Tupperware dish that held the sauce along with one lonely meatball. Gravy flew all over the place. My first reaction was "Oh crap!" But then I realized that the container had flipped 360-degrees, landing right-side-up. Most of the sauce and the meatball remained where I put them, inside the container. My second reaction was to laugh. How lucky was that?
While I cleaned up the renegade gravy, I thought about how easy it is to think, "Oh crap!" when something bad happens. How often do I forget to look at things in the bigger picture? It's no secret to anyone that I have a serious case of baby-on-the-brain, adoption-on-the-brain, pending mommy hood-on-the-brain, etc. So this gravy incident made me think about how blessed Sam and I were when we found out about our infertility. The news is completely devastating to most people. While there was some sadness and frustration, I really don't think we had an "Oh crap!" moment. Even before doctors broke the news to us that it's highly unlikely for us to conceive, we already felt at peace and even excited to begin this journey of adoption. How lucky was that?
So then I thought of the woman who will choose us to raise her child. Even though I have no idea who this woman is, I think of her all the time. I'm sure she'll have the "Oh crap!" moment, but I hope it doesn't last too long. I hope she has an endless supply of hugs. I hope she feels Heavenly Father's and Christ's love for her. I hope she feels good about her decision to place her baby for adoption. I hope she finds good, happiness and peace through her experience. I hope she knows how ginormous of a blessing this is to us--how we'll see it as so much more than just luck. And I hope she feels the same way, too. How lucky would that be?!
While I cleaned up the renegade gravy, I thought about how easy it is to think, "Oh crap!" when something bad happens. How often do I forget to look at things in the bigger picture? It's no secret to anyone that I have a serious case of baby-on-the-brain, adoption-on-the-brain, pending mommy hood-on-the-brain, etc. So this gravy incident made me think about how blessed Sam and I were when we found out about our infertility. The news is completely devastating to most people. While there was some sadness and frustration, I really don't think we had an "Oh crap!" moment. Even before doctors broke the news to us that it's highly unlikely for us to conceive, we already felt at peace and even excited to begin this journey of adoption. How lucky was that?
So then I thought of the woman who will choose us to raise her child. Even though I have no idea who this woman is, I think of her all the time. I'm sure she'll have the "Oh crap!" moment, but I hope it doesn't last too long. I hope she has an endless supply of hugs. I hope she feels Heavenly Father's and Christ's love for her. I hope she feels good about her decision to place her baby for adoption. I hope she finds good, happiness and peace through her experience. I hope she knows how ginormous of a blessing this is to us--how we'll see it as so much more than just luck. And I hope she feels the same way, too. How lucky would that be?!
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